To the internet Karens and Kens out there: Get off Google Reviews, touch some grass, and have a hot meal.
If there’s anything these past few years have shown us, it’s that keyboard warriors — those bipeds that fail to make eye contact, yet have no problem with touch typing techniques — will hide behind internet avatars in their hollow pursuit of self-righteousness. They’ll extrapolate their rage (and, more often than not, bouts of undeniable racism) onto popular conduits of contentment from anonymous online profiles. Or, if those profiles are filled out, those comments are sent from vague and misleading account handles.
Internet trolling is never the answer… no matter how enticing it may be to engage. However, when acts of dead-end remarking are executed, the results can often be *chef’s kiss.*
The kind and friendly and online sleuthing folks at the San Francisco Parks Alliance, a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting SF’s public parks through community events and upkeep, know this. It’s why their recent Instagram post showing a collection of one-stare reviews is rife with internet fodder.
“We love our city parks… but not everyone feels the same way,” reads the caption of an IG post published last week by the SF-based nonprofit. “Here’s what some people have to say in these real one-star reviews.”
And what people had to say spanned the gamut of abject hilarity and some might say worrisome behavior that might necessitate professional help.
One user noted that when gworls talk about “long walks on the beach, they’re not talking about Ocean Beach.” This, alas, is a farce. Others had the nerve to call Crissy Fields — with its expansive view of the Golden Gate Bridge, the San Francisco Bay, and Marin Headlands — the most “boring place [they’ve] ever been to.” Someone even wrote that Golden Gate Park has… wait for it… “too many trees.” (Babe, seek treatment, please.)
For those of us fortunate to call San Francisco home (or live within close proximity of the seve-by-seven) we know (for a fact) that our collection of public parks is world-class. Five stars, all around. 25% tip, included.
